7 Bonus Years

I know you thought you'd never see 19 years
Yet here you are for another birthday!
I know your childhood was filled with heavy tears
But you didn't let it stay that way.

You reached out for help and I came when you called
You trusted, loved, felt safe for the first time
That isn't to say there weren't times when you'd fall
But when your arms felt weak, you found strength in mine

I remember the day I saw hope fill your eyes
When I walked through the door, you had a new spring in your hands
Gone were the days filled with endless gray skies
And coming were days of light filling your land

I saw you get your first cert, job, and love
Milestones you were sure you would never achieve.
But you didn't stop there, you went beyond and above --
Amazing what you can do when you finally believe!

Now, even though our time together's in rear-view,
I pray you know I will always be proud of you!

Let the Process Begin

It's been nineteen months since that night,
Nineteen months since both our plans changed
It was supposed to be you and me against the world
But life didn't work out that way.

In a moment, joy turned into fear
Our communication - from calls to complex ciphers
A clear, certain future became a dense fog
And our distance started growing ever wider.

Five months later, I lost you for the second time
You told me you were healing, but this chapter would be alone
I admit, I never saw that page-turn coming
But in hindsight, I can see that you had grown.

So I moved - back to a place I knew
I claimed it was for comfort, but really, I was running
I thought I'd started to heal - back to work, serving, and church
But in actuality, I was just numbing.

Tonight, nineteen months later, I'm done running from my feelings
Tonight, I'm ready to process my grief
So this space, I give to you, my daughter
And in this space, Lord, I pray you'll give me peace.